donderdag 16 december 2010

Interview Jill Egizii with George Mantell

Parental alienation syndrome

The interview with Jill Egizii starts at 9:00

Transcription

We are back, joining me now is Jill Egizii,
She is author of The look of love

You heard the segment before with Amy
actually you have experienced parental alienation yourself

I am alienated parent of four children and happen for the past five years
Some day my children will come back to me
I know that, I have hope in that
and wait for that knock on the door

Besides trying to deal with your own situation
you also become really an activist or a spokesperson for an
active organisation and that you have
written a novel about the subject, which we will come back to
what do you say to a person like Amy..
you been there, done that
What do you tell people in these horrible situations

It is one of those situations where you can actually say
I know what you are going through
And I do this every day, all day long and don't want to be tired and sad

It is important to listen to people tell their stories
because it is meaningful to them
However I feel that people should remain
psychologically and physically healthy in the situation
Because if your children do come back
you don't want to be a mess of blubbering sadness
So it is important to become active for yourself
be an advocate for yourself first of all
and what I would tell Amy is to go out and talk
even though in a city of amoral Texas
There is that whole good old boy network
the term that she use, that exists everywhere
Amarillo is no different than Illinois

And you are from Illinois

So I am

What you need to do is step out of your comfort zone
and become advocate for yourself and then for others
that is exactly what I did
I sat on the couch for about three months
I was very sad that my children had decided to take this avenue
even though it was not by their own doing
they where brainwashed and I understood that

But you always hope that your children..
raising them as you did in my children days
in a Christian environment with hearts that
I knew where good hearts
they would make the right decision and
want both parents in their lives
and truly children do want that
but when they are brainwashed
that kind of goes out the window for a while

Because sometimes it is not just preventing the access
it is actually doing a job on the kids so that they...

exactly
So I decided after three months that I would go out and
try to help other people through legislative reform, judicial reform
and by just being a spokesperson
I do everything 250 procent
That is what I want to do in this parental alienation world

When was the last contact you had with your children

The last contact I did
at my daughters highschool graduation
As Amy mentioned she missed many milestones of her children's lives
Mine started when my daughter, my youngest child was thirteen
So I missed A-th grade graduation, I missed 16-th birthday party
all of that good stuff
so my last contact was highschool graduation
where she ran away from my parents and I would not take a picture
and finally my mother just grabbed her arm and say please take a picture
She stood there very strong armed and very mean faced and took a picture,
we have that picture right on
don't know why we wanted that now when I look back at it but
that was the last contact
My youngest son and older two children was there and
stayed away and didn't want...

And when you tried to call them

The three older children
don't answer the phone, they just let it go to voice mail
and my daughter will pick up but she hangs up

Now a lot of people -I can also say to Amy- it is easy as an outsider
In fact you said it last night very wisely
it is easy to tell people why you should do this and that
In your case you have the means
you spent a lot of money on legal fees

It is important to exhaust
I think every avenue that you have within the judicial system
which I did to the turn of many hundreds of thousands of dollars
I think that you have to attempt everything
And I think parents feel that if you don't exhaust
every attempt that your children will feel like
you didn't fight to get them back
So you want to walk every avenue that you can to make sure that
you know and they know that you tried everything

So what needs to change and
when you are out there for legislative reform
She's talked about kind of the good old boy network or the ?closed?
I hear about the problems with other attorneys
who don't know what to do or are not good or
try family court law that are worthless.
What is the main problem and how do you address

Well, attorneys are a big part of it, however
we don't want to alienate attorneys because
you need them in many cases
The whole cottage industry that has been formed by
court appointed advocates, guardian at ?litems?
attorneys and judges who work in a vicious circle to promote behaviour,
that is just anastatic
to what is supposed to happen in family court
People are supposed to come away with a great parental agreement
your children are supposed to have access to their parent
and these people just continue to churn
so that they can bill hours and
make money off of our children and that is unfortunate
What needs to change is there needs to be judicial reform
We need to have guidelines for judges that can serve in family courts
Did they practice in family law before they were appointed to the bench?
You will find that many attorneys never even did a divorce before
they where put on to...

So no real experience

We are working on that now in Illinois
Legislative reform is good
This is something what that many people who are watching can do
and many people can do such as Amy, you can go to your legislator
I grew up in a political family
my father was a legislator my entire live,
They are just people
I think people think they can't approach them
They put their pants on the same way we do and
You can call them, they want to hear from you
They are there as your elective official
They can introduce bills and legislators or in your city
to help you deal with this kind of thing
So in Illinois what we are doing right now is
revamping Illinois divorce law that hasn't been looked at in forty years
And we know that the nuclear family now today is
not what it was in 1950 or the 60s or 70s
so we have to reevaluate that

People don't even get married

There is lots of reasons for that, but
we need to revamp just the verbiage that we use: custody, visitation
Parents should not have visitation, that is your child
So there is many things that needs to change just legislatively and
there are many states that are active right now in trying to do that
So I encourage people to become involved in
a legislative process in their state to look at laws that can be changed

Thank you very much Jill,
In a final moment I didn't want to mention your book since
you brought it in road
The look of love which is a parental alienation story

It is about the main character Anna who walks through her live
and has a horrible divorce
and her children are taken from her by brainwashing and parental alienation
It is about that story
Since the book has come out i have been approached by so many people
Specifically woman and man too who where afraid to speak out
And they say now we have a voice
Woman who don't have their children or a non custodial parent
have a stigma attached to them when they have not their kids
These women are coming out now and speaking out and stepping out
and know that there are other people like them

Well and I hope too that this show will help
I mean I have often, just from the stories we
have heard and emails we got from people
we have always felt tit
worked both ways for man and women
And so but anybody that thinks we are
always talk about the guys
make clear that we are also...

It is a parents issue not a gender issue

Exactly
Well thank you again very much for being here
Keep up the great work and
Good luck with your situation

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